My Two Cents: Breakup Edition

I don't really want to be too emotional in this space, but for whatever reason there are a lot of thoughts swirling around in my head and heart, and I finally feel like it's the right time to share. I'm apologizing in advance for any cheesiness and it is my hope that whomever reads this takes something positive away with them...

I'm not sure how much the details of the relationship really matter. We were never really unhappy. We loved each other very much, and still do... Which is why being apart SUCKS SO HARD. But, it's been a few months now and I don't think either of us is changing anytime soon. These are the things I've been thinking about:

1) The times that we've gotten into difficult convos, I can't help but think, "What if what I'm saying was broadcast on the jumbtron at the Staples Center? Would I be embarrassed?" This is not to say that everything I've said has been nice - of course not! (And to be 

honest, I slipped and said I hated him once, but it was a really specific circumstance and I totally did in that moment. No apologies.)  But it's all be true and I haven't called him names, etc. To be really clear, I'm not doing it for his benefit. You don't want to carry around the consequences of that behavior. It's the first breakup where I've made a conscious effort to not be ugly and feel much better for it.

2) Ultimately, you know in your heart when you're comprimising a piece of yourself that you shouldn't. Even if you're the only one who's aware, just don't do this. It's exhausting (at the very least), and it never really works. If the other person loves you and knows you, they'll be able to tell.

3) Go out with friends and date other people. You're living now. Don't waste your days. (This is not to forget the benefits of nights staying in snacks/pizza/booze of choice/movies/crappy reality tv with your friends. Those count too!)

4) (Last one, and I hate it.) I guess I knew this before, but it is the first time I've felt this in my bones - love isn't always enough. Commitment matters more. Life is hard, and all of us deserve to be with a person that's on our team, no matter what. It doesn't make actual disagreements easier, but it does make all the difference in the world during difficult periods because you're both ultimately fighting for your relationship. 

I hope this was helpful on some level, if only to know that someone else is going through what you are too. We're all going to get through this. Promise. Xo