I preface this post with the fact that I love my family. We
have a difficult relationship, but I wouldn’t know what to do without them.
They’re great people and have helped make me the person that I am.
For the first time in five years, I’m home for the
holidays. I’m so grateful that I could take the time to be here. I feel like
I’m getting to know everyone all over again (or for the first time when it
comes to some nieces and nephews). I mean, we talk on the phone almost everyday
and FaceTime when we can, but it’s no substitute for actually being together. No
matter how you try, not being in the same room for many years takes a toll on relationships.
It’s bringing up a lot of questions for me – What is really important? What
does it mean to be successful in my life? How do I even define “success”?
(I know - way to be all grateful and zen and full of holiday cheer…)
I have no fucking clue what I’m doing and all I keep
thinking is that I am too old to be feeling this way. But even though
everything seems TBD at the moment I’m happy to be where I am right now.
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