My ex and I have been apart for 10 months. I left for a lot of reasons, but mostly it was because I was disgusted with the person I was becoming. I could barely look at myself in the mirror. When I was with him, I felt weak and bitchy and just generally wanted to puke. I kept thinking that I already learned those relationship-y lessons in my 20s, and I knew better now. If I continued to repeat patterns that didn't serve me any longer, they weren't mistakes. They were just my life. I walked around with that idea every day until I couldn't take it anymore. He thought everything was fine, so...
I'm much happier without him, but it's a quiet happy. I feel like a different person most days. I haven't dated much this year, and sort of don't want to. I'm not ready to have someone else in my space yet. I want to do what I want all of the time, and it's way easier to do that single. I'm not quite sure that's the most healthy or balanced approach to life, but it's working for me. And for that, I'm very grateful.
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