In The "Right."

Question for the Universe: When you are doing everything "right" and everything is still going wrong, will doing the "wrong" things make life go right?

So many months later, and STILL. CAN'T. STOP. LISTENING.

I'm just so tired of fighting. I don't want anyone to get hurt (including myself), but pushing against the direction part of my life is going is freaking exhausting. Not to mention, seemingly futile. No matter what I do, it's all happening anyway. I can't seem to stop it.

I should preface all this by mentioning that I'm pretty much the most stubborn law school dropout alive. In the rare (yes, rare) instances when I think myself to be totally correct I will make sure to convince you (and every other person who might disagree with me) that there's no other way to see things but my way. Except this time, the only person I'm trying to convince is me. It's making my brain feel like and Inception mindfuck.

I'm trying so hard to give up control and be vulnerable WHICH I HATE. A LOT. I'm trying so hard to not beat myself up. I'm trying so hard to do the best that I can to make it through each day. And yet, I'm failing.

The only option I have is to give into what's happening. Bashing my head against the wall is definitely not working out well. All I'm saying is it'd be nice to come out on the other side of this storm with a HUGE bottle of lightning ;) xo

Weekly: Maintenance

I meant to do this mani during the US Open but didn't have time to run out for neon yellow polish. Better late than never, I guess. I've never used China Glaze polish before this - I really liked the consistency of the White on White. The neon was not only super streaky, but it also bubbled up a little bit (and I didn't shake the bottle or anything). Oh well, it's just one nail and hopefully it's not that noticeable. I'm going to see how it wears before buying another bottle, but so far, so good.

I was worried the white would be strange on nails, but I like the clean look that it gives. I have the plain white on my toes as well, and it's quickly becoming my new fave pedicure color.

Hope you all are having a good week!

Discipline.

I'm always in awe of uber-disciplined people. I know it takes such massive amounts of work to live this way - whether it be mental, physical, organizational, etc. but people who are disciplined seem to make everything look so easy.

I was thinking a lot about discipline this week. I had gone to the gym every day until I got sidelined by work on Thursday. I kept feeling like I should have just left the office and gone to work out, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave. This was my thought - am I being disciplined by meeting my deadline or not disciplined by shirking off the gym? Sometimes I hate the realities of the day-to-day...

All this made me realize the root of my discipline jealousy. It's the fact that it pares everything down. Choices are already made. Stuff gets done. Emotions are taken out of the equation. I struggle so much with this internally because my feelings trip me up, i.e. is it wrong to choose what's best for me (the gym) or my work (meeting the deadline)? I get that those priorities are always changing, but I still feel like I'm constantly at war with myself.

I've decided on two new tactics to tackle my desire to be disciplined. 1) Think about things in smaller bursts of time, even if it is just one day at a time and 2) be nicer to myself. One day of not going to the gym isn't going to totally derail my fitness goals, and beating myself up isn't going to make me any more motivated. Maybe they'll work, maybe more adjusting will be necessary - either way, I just want to keep trying.

Homemade (well, assembled) Dog Treats

I made these for the puppies when LA was going through its recent heat wave. Very quick, couldn't be easier, and they love them. Also, it makes me happiest to give them real food whenever possible. (I seriously contemplate cooking their meals for them on a weekly basis and just haven't found the right diet yet.)

There's not really a recipe, it's just frozen fruit and greek yogurt.   I used blueberries this time, but I've also done this with pineapple in the past. (While I'm definitely not a vet, still don't use grapes bc they're toxic to dogs.) I've also done it with beef broth and cut up pieces of broccoli. 

If you try them out, let me know! 

Reading List

http://www.amazon.com/Lunch-Paris-Love-Story-Recipes/dp/0316042781

Oh, how I love this book. It totally makes me want to pack my suitcases and run away to Paris...le sigh.😏

Two words: common sense

I really appreciate Levison's real-world, grounded perspective. Definitely worth the time.

http://www.amazon.com/Frugal-Isnt-Cheap-Spend-Better/dp/1601632606/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411459636&sr=1-1&keywords=frugal+isn%27t+cheap

Recent Product Fails

Garnier Fructis Damage Eraser:

Smells great, but wasn't much better than a normal conditioner on my hair. I also HATE HATE HATE any sort of shower product that comes in a jar. Who wants to unscrew a cap, etc. and then worry about water getting into the product? So annoying.

Alba Botanica Pineapple Enzyme Towelettes:

They didn't clean very well and were kind of dry, like there wash't enough product in them. I had to use two each time after washing my face. (I use Estee Lauder Double Wear foundation and need a double step cleansing routine to fully remove it.) I only bought these because my skin has been a little dry lately and my normal tea tree pads were making it worse. 

Maybelline Dream Wonder powder:

I had such high hopes for this one. The YouTube reviews were great and I was excited that it was from the drugstore. The shade matched well enough, but was too heavy/makeupy for me. I broke out and also found the application uneven unless I used my powder brush. The whole point of compact powder for me is to not have to carry around my massive brush. I just want to swipe whatever the applicator is on my t-zone when I'm shiny. I hear good things about the Mally Face Defender and think I'll try that next.

Beauty product-wise, I'm perpetually in search of a great deep conditioner, toner, and mascara. I have been testing out of bunch of mascaras lately for an upcoming post - I just wish I could find a great one first!

Almost done.

I haven't painted my nails white since the fourth grade and that time it was with wite-out. (Which I'm sure caused cancer or something...) I kinda like it!

BEST. TOYS. EVER.

The IQ Treat Balls are the greatest toys I've ever purchased for the pups. No joke. They're amazing and kept them preoccupied for over an hour the first time they played with them. I've put them out every morning for the last two weeks as I leave for work, and Dog 1 & Dog 2 don't even notice that I close the door. Best of all, these toys increase their problem solving abilities and keep their brains sharp :)

(They think every box that comes is for them.)

He's thrilled - it's like he knows they're toys...

There's a small, adjustable disc that separates the two halves of the ball which controls how many treats get released. It's a simple design that 1) works just as it should and 2) is easy to clean. These are my main criteria when buying the dogs anything, and these are so perfect. I wish everything in life worked this well!

Happy babies :)

Weekly: Nails

Finished Fishtail Braid Design:

I painted the whole nail the Essie pink, then alternated swipes of each of the three colors until I reached the top of each nail.

 If I were to do it again, I definitely would choose three colors with a higher contrast. The neon pink and red are a little too similar (at least in my opinion). I like the pattern it created, and think it looks more intricate than it really was to do. Let me know if you try it out!

Keep it simple.

Why is it so hard for me to remember no one has all the answers all of the time and that I don't need to either? I really like this quote from Martha Beck because it isn't hokey or flowery. It's just simple and true.

New jeans.

Perfect length (I'm about 5'3"). That never happens - usually capris look like regular pants on me. They have the perfect amount of stretch, the color is great, and the denim is not too heavy. They're very soft. 

I love them! 

Weekly: Nails

I saw this design on Pinterest and had to try it! The original used blue and yellow, but I just got the Jenna Hipp Ooh La Latte as part of a gift and wanted to try it out.

I started with two coats of Zoya's Bela. It's my favorite sheer. Next I added one coat of the Jenna Hipp, curving the edges a bit and keeping a bit of space at the bottom so the pink is seen. I made the area a little smaller than the original because I thought it worked with my nail shape better.

Lastly, I took the geranium color and my largest dotting tool to add the final pop of color. (There's no label on the Essie bottle so I have no idea what the color is named, but it's beautiful!)

I'm pretty happy with how it turned out! At the very least, it's simple to do and didn't take much longer than a regular manicure which is a definite bonus.

Straight from the freezer.

Not nearly as good as real ice cream or gelato, but it'll do. 

Ready for football!

I was going to cook, but it's waaayyy too hot. Domino's it is!

Weekly: Nails

I apologize for the ugliness around my cuticles. I was super rushed when doing my nails this week. I hated the blue the entire time (top photo) until I added the heart tonight (bottom photo). Much better. 

Addicted.

New show alert!! Hollyannaeree mentioned Haven in a vlog not too long ago and it popped up in my Netflix recommendations last night. Already two episodes in and I love it! Have any of you watched it? What do you think of it?

Still haven't gone grocery shopping...

I haven't been inside a grocery store for over a month. I have been mostly ordering take-out when starving, or otherwise just eating oatmeal and clif bars out of the office kitchen.

My schedule has almost gone back to normal, but I still don't have time to meal plan, etc yet. I was hungry when I got home from work so I raided the cabinets to see what I could whip up. Here is my (somewhat distgusting looking but surprisingly delicious) masterpiece:

Rice, lentils, cannelini beans, peas, and....THIS.

If you've never tried any of the Frontera salsas or marinades I HIGHLY recommend them. There are no preservatives in them and the flavor is great. I've used them in both in the crock pot and regular sauteing. They've always worked beautifully and make any dish more flavorful. I haven't tried them on chips yet - is that a little weird?

A month of 20 hour workdays, 7 days a week and a family wedding over the weekend = lack of posting.

Back on track now. Let's get down to business.